Updated: Sep 7, 2020
Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It broke me into a million pieces, but I knew you didn’t want me to stay in that dark and painful place. I decided that I wanted to live like you did. I want to live with passion and purpose and be the kind-hearted person that you were. You are my guide and my teacher and you have made me a better person. While not a day that goes by without some pain and sadness, you have have taught me more than I ever thought possible.
Because of you, I learned that becoming a mom is the greatest privilege of all.
Because of you, I learned that life is gift, no matter how hard it is and that I can choose to treat it as such or throw it away.
Because of you, I learned that love is a precious gift. I now try to love everyone and everything, just like you did.
Because of you, I will cherish the good memories and carry them with me forever.
Because of you, I learned that nothing in life is permanent. I will love hard and I will love deep.
Because of you, I learned patience and gentleness.
Because of you, I learned about heaven. Heaven is not way up in the sky, but all around us and I know you are only a whisper away.
Because of you, I now speak up for what’s important, do the right thing, and offer a hand up to those who need it.
Because of you, I have learned to let go of the pain so that I could make room for peace.
Because of you, I will pursue my dreams and travel the world, just as you dreamed of doing.
Because of you, I believe in angels and the afterlife and know that I will see you again one day.
Because of you, I know that love never dies.
Because of you, I will look for the good, just like you did. If I can’t see the good, I will make the good.
Because of you, I live from a deeper place.
Because of you, I try to be fully present in my life.
Because of you, I take loads of pictures and videos now.
Because of you, I take nothing for granted.
Because of you, I have learned to be stronger than I ever imagined.
Because of you, I learned to live large, laugh loud, and live with passion.
Because of you, our family is closer and stronger than ever.
Because of you, I know that grief is really love with nowhere to go.
Because of you, I learned that living and loving is a choice and that those things fill our lives with meaning.
Because of you, I learned that there is life beyond loss and in time it can be filled with joy and laughter again.
It is an honour and privilege to be your mom and I look forward to the day that I will get to see you and hold you again. Thank you for all that you have taught me.
Dear Angel Mama, if you are struggling with the overwhelm and pain of child loss, reach out for support. Child Loss is much too difficult to manage on your own. Here are a couple resources to get you started: my book and a download of helpful grief resources.