Updated: Sep 7
If I hadn't experienced this myself, I would never have believed it. This encounter is what has given me the strength to keep going, even on the darkest of days.
A few hours prior, my life changed forever. Time became defined as 'before and after'. A police officer and the coroner came to my home at 10pm on a Tuesday night to deliver the unexpected news that my 17 year old daughter Katie had been involved in a fatal car accident.
"Officer, you must be mistaken." I heard my husband say.
How could this be? My daughter had always been the 'good girl', the rule follower, the girl at the top of her class, the girl that just received an entrance scholarship into nursing, and a girl that was goofy and sweet. But this was our new reality.
We had a few visitors that night. First my parents came, then Katie's boyfriend and family came to offer support. We all cried and held each other. After midnight, I sent everyone home. There was nothing anyone could do.
My husband and I lay upon our bed, staring at the ceiling in disbelief. This was a bad dream we were going to wake up from...right? We hugged and held each other while the tears soaked the pillows. I think we were both still in shock. I was shaking uncontrollably and my husband just stared blankly. This didn't seem possible.
While we laid there, the strangest thing happened. Even in our fog we noticed the dancing lights on our wall. I remember saying "What's with the lights on the wall?". My husband said it must be from the street lights. I was in no condition to think straight so I just nodded. A moment later my husband fell asleep for a short time. The lights became brighter as if trying to get my attention.
Then the most amazing thing happened. Two figures stood in the doorway to my bedroom. I have to admit that I sensed their presence more that I saw them. It's hard to explain unless you've experienced it. Again, I was doubting my cognition at this point and wondering if I was losing my mind. I began pinching myself and assured myself that I wasn't asleep and was very much awake and aware.
I asked, "Is that you, Katie?". Then as I looked towards the presence by the doorway, it seemed that one figure moved towards me. At the same time, the bedroom became filled with Katie's favourite perfume, as if she was answering "Yes it's me, Mom. I'm ok and I've made it to the other side."
As soon as my brain processed what was happening and I was certain it was Katie, it all disappeared - the dancing lights, the two figures, and the strong perfume scent. But I knew what I had experienced and somehow I knew we would be okay. Katie would be with us, just in a different way now.
I can't say for sure, but I am fairly certain that the second figure was my grandmother who had visited me the same way after she died 21 years ago. My grandmother had been a very spiritual lady when she was alive and I found her visit very comforting all those years ago. I believe she helped Katie come through so strong on the night of her accident.
While I was confident in what I saw and experienced, I didn't tell my husband about it right away. I was afraid he would try to tell me I was imagining things in my grief. But the next morning when my parents came over, my Dad told me he had experienced a similar incident with dancing lights at about the same time that Katie visited me.
This is only one of many signs and visits I have had from Katie over the years, but it was the most powerful visit. In the coming days, she reached out to my husband and son in different ways and she continues to leave signs for us everywhere.
I feel fortunate that I had this encounter with my girl and I think it has had a huge impact on the way that I deal with her death and my new reality. It gives me peace that she is with my grandmother and has the ability to communicate with us, guide us, and support us as we continue on in our human forms.
You might be a skeptic and that's ok, but if you have a child or loved one that you would like to communicate with, tell them.
Believe they are with you, because they are.
PS: Download my grief relief guide here: https://www.lisakboehm.com/grief-resources-for-grieving-moms