Dreams and Spiritual Encounters after Child Loss: One Mother's Experience
Let me tell you a story...
My first dream of Katie came one month after she died.
Sleep did not come easy for me after we lost our girl so I often spent the night staring at the ceiling with tears running down my face. One night in a rare moment when I actually fell asleep the most surreal thing happened.
Since the day Katie died, I would look hopefully in the direction of the front door every time I heard a noise, thinking (wishing) that it was Katie coming home and hoping that her accident was all a big misunderstanding. In my dream, I was in the kitchen making supper when I heard the door open. I leaned around the kitchen island and saw Katie walk in! I dropped what I was doing as she walked calmly forward. I pleaded 'where have you been?'. She calmly replied 'I can't stay long, Mom'. Even in my dream, I knew exactly what she meant, as if there was deep meaning in her words. While Katie was so serene in her physical presence, her voice revealed that she wished things were different. I felt like she really wanted to stay.
On another occasion, I dreamed that Katie gave me a hug - a BIG hug - and it felt SO real!
Another night I was nudged awake by the scent of her perfume. And one night I dreamed she came home - to stay. It was as if she floated around the house. Of course, I was overjoyed to have her home, but then started saying things like 'you have to finish grade 12!'. In that dream she didn't say anything. She just emitted love in a knowing way.
I am pretty sure I dream of Katie with some regularity, but most times I don't remember my dreams. One of the downsides of taking sleeping pills is that you are less likely to remember your dreams. But sometimes I have a deja vu moment during the day when something prompts me to remember parts of a dream I had the night before.