Updated: Apr 16
Let me tell you a story...
My first dream of Katie came one month after she died.
Sleep did not come easy for me after we lost our girl so I often spent the night staring at the ceiling with tears running down my face. One night in a rare moment when I actually fell asleep the most surreal thing happened.
Since the day Katie died, I would look hopefully in the direction of the front door every time I heard a noise, thinking (wishing) that it was Katie coming home and hoping that her accident was all a big misunderstanding. In my dream, I was in the kitchen making supper when I heard the door open. I leaned around the kitchen island and saw Katie walk in! I dropped what I was doing as she walked calmly forward. I pleaded 'where have you been?'. She calmly replied 'I can't stay long, Mom'. Even in my dream, I knew exactly what she meant, as if there was deep meaning in her words. While Katie was so serene in her physical presence, her voice revealed that she wished things were different. I felt like she really wanted to stay.
On another occasion, I dreamed that Katie gave me a hug - a BIG hug - and it felt SO real!
Another night I was nudged awake by the scent of her perfume. And one night I dreamed she came home - to stay. It was as if she floated around the house. Of course, I was overjoyed to have her home, but then started saying things like 'you have to finish grade 12!'. In that dream she didn't say anything. She just emitted love in a knowing way.
I am pretty sure I dream of Katie with some regularity, but most times I don't remember my dreams. One of the downsides of taking sleeping pills is that you are less likely to remember your dreams. But sometimes I have a deja vu moment during the day when something prompts me to remember parts of a dream I had the night before.
Those of you who know me or have been following me and reading my blogs for a while, know that I believe in the spirit world whole-heartedly. You don't have to convince me.
I find this kind of communication comforting, whether it is signs or dreams. I'll take each and every one of them!
I am not an intuitive, by any stretch, but I love to learn about these kinds of occurrences, so I did some research and I thought you might be interested in what I found too.
Sleeping is a state where our ego (the logical part of our brain) isn't telling us what's true or believable like it is when we are awake. This leaves us in a space where our loved ones can easily communicate with us.
In a regular dream, people often play a role, but they are not rich with detail. For example, you might dream about your fourth grade teacher but you only knew it was her and the actual details of her might be fuzzy. But when your child or loved one comes to you, you will see all the details of them - how they wear their hair, the specifics of facial details, and expressions and you will know it is them without question.
You will know you have had a visitation dream if you wake up after the dream and it feels like they were just standing beside you. Spirits are energy and that energy can be sensed, so can the smells they may leave behind, like Katie's perfume. Often, I will get a 'confirmation sign' the next day too. Katie will usually leave a feather or dime or her favourite song will play on the radio as if to say "Yes, that was me mom! You aren't losing your mind!"
I read many different things about dream visits in preparing this blog and these are a few common themes I found when separating out our regular dreams and dream visits:
* You will remember a visitation dream for a very long time, unlike a regular dream which you will forget easily
* These dreams feel very feel
* your angel acts and behaves in a very loving way in a visitation dream
* Dream visits aren't easy for spirit so they tend to come with purpose, will convey a message and then be gone (like in my first dream where Katie said she couldn't stay long)
* When you wake up you will feel peaceful
The other thing I learned is that if our loved ones have lots of trauma surrounding their death they need time to heal on the other side before they have the strength to visit you in your dreams.
The fact they came to you is a sign in itself and shows that love never dies.
Ask your loved one for a dream! Yes, ask! Before going to sleep, spend time thinking about your child or loved one and ask him or her to come visit you in your dream state. You may also want to ask your guides or other spiritual helpers to assist this person to come to you clearly.
Try not to be discouraged if you don't have a dream visit. There are a number of things that could be going on. You may not remember your dreams. Grief is exhausting and sometimes we are even too tired to dream or we dream in a state that just can't remember. Or, your loved one might be new to entering dreams and hasn't got the hang of it just yet.
Keep asking and always express gratitude when you do have a dream visit.
Remember that love never dies, and neither does energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed (ask any scientist!). Our loved ones are always with us.
Walking beside you on your journey to HEALING,
PS: If you are struggling with grief and child loss, you might be interested in my free 5-part video course that I created for moms. It addresses the most common questions and struggles that we have after losing a child. You can find it here.