Updated: Dec 9, 2020
When you lose your child not only do you feel pain mentally and physically, but your soul breaks open too. Yet we often ignore our spirit after child loss. We either forget about it completely or we are so lost in our devastation and grief that it seems like an impossible task.
Meditation is one way of connecting our soul to the Universe and helps open ourselves up to eternal love and healing. It can also be a way to let go of guilt, anger, and all those things which no longer serve us.
The term "letting go of what no longer serves us" was new to me after I lost Katie. Then a Reiki practitioner gently pointed out that I was hanging on to anger and fear so tightly I could barely function. She taught me that no matter how much I worried or held on to anger and fear I could not change anything.
In those early days of grief, I could barely pay attention to a conversation, much less empty my mind. But what I could do was sit quietly and imagine that with each breath I breathed in healing, love, understanding, kindness, and hope and that I released all that no longer served me; anger, bitterness, fear, blame and guilt. I might have only been able to do that for five minutes at a time, but I could do that. And I truly believed and could see with my mind's eye, those heavy and debilitating emotions, leave my body.
But what got me hooked on meditation was the fact that all this 'opening up' helped me connect more with my daughter's spirit. I starting having more dreams of Katie and definitely had more signs. The more I practiced meditation, the more I felt her presence.
I started listening to guided meditations. Most of them were geared towards falling sleep but I tried different ones so that I could find those that resonated most with me. I'm a visual person so I really liked meditations that lead me through forests, to waterfalls, or along the ocean's edge.
I know this can all sound a little woo-woo and not something that you might picture yourself doing, but I challenge you to give it a go. And not just once. Try to create a habit by meditating first thing in the morning or last thing before you go to bed. I starting by committing to meditating for 30 days and I would practice for at least 5 minutes per day. I knew I could keep a commitment like that.
The trick can be finding a quiet place in a busy home. I set up my yoga mat in our home office and will go in there when my husband and son are watching TV downstairs. I will turn on my battery operated candles plus a light-up essential oil diffuser then I turn off the lights, set a timer of 10-15 minutes, sit on a pillow, and close my eyes.
I would love for you to give meditation a try, so I created a guided meditation for you to download and listen to as much as you like.
Meditation is like anything, the more you practice, the better you get. And if it helps you connect to your child, why not?
In this meditation, we will walk along the beach together. If you like the idea of a sunrise and gentle ocean sounds, I think you'll really enjoy this :)
Request it here---> https://www.lisakboehm.com/meditation-for-grief
Let me know how it goes!
PS: if you are looking for more resources to help you ease the pain of child loss, download this free list: My 21 favourite child loss resources
PSS: if you are a reader and are looking for a book that gives you heartfelt advice on how you can help yourself after you lose a child, take a look at Journey to HEALING: A Mother's Guide to Navigating Child Loss