How to Connect Spiritually after Child Loss

Updated: Dec 8, 2020

I’ve always had loose ideas about how the spiritual world worked. I believed in spirit before Katie died and I believed in God and I believed both could co-exist.

I always felt funny about thinking those seemingly different worlds could exist together until I heard Theresa Caputo, the famous Long Island Medium, say those words.

No one really knows what happens when we die or how it all works, but having faith is important when you are trying to find your footing after loss.

I had something happen to me when I was about 22 years old. When my grandmother died, I was studying for an exam that I was to write the next day. When my mom called to say that Grandma had passed away, I was ready to throw my things in a bag and make the trip south. However, my mom said to stay put. Grandma would want me to write the exam the next day.

Laying in bed, still wide awake, I saw my grandmother in the doorway to my bedroom. I didn’t see a face or human outline, but rather a presence that I somehow knew was there. I can’t explain it, but I knew it was my grandmother. I also knew that she was not there for my sake. She had been unwell for years and had been unable to come to our home and see where we lived. I believe her visit that night was more about making sure that my mom, her daughter, would be ok.

This is exactly how Katie visited me the night she died too.

My husband and I were lying in bed, just 3 hours after being told that Katie had died in a car accident. Unable to sleep and in shock, we couldn't make sense of the strange dancing lights on the bedroom wall.

My husband fell asleep for a few moments when two spirits appeared in the bedroom doorway. After making sure I was awake and as lucid as I could be, I knew it was Katie and my grandma.

I whispered "Katie, Is that you?"

As a way of answering my question, my bedroom became enveloped in the sent of Katie's perfume and I felt her spirit move to the side of the bed. As soon as I realized that this was a visit from Katie, she and the scent disappeared along with the interesting light pattern on the wall. I believe she wanted to say goodbye, let me know she was ok, and was with loved ones in heaven.

Experiencing signs and visits like this helped me know that Katie is still here, albeit in a very different form. It allows me to talk to her and know that she is still a part of my life. But I also believe in God - my higher power. I talked to God a lot in the beginning and still check in and ask for guidance.

I know God is listening too.

Here are some of the ways you can invite spiritual connection into your healing journey:

  1. Pray. There’s no correct method for doing so, at least in my opinion. Talk to God. Open up and say what’s on your heart. It’s ok to say that your angry or confused or frustrated. We are loved regardless. I always like to start my discussion with God by thanking Him for the blessings in my life, then saying what’s on my mind, then asking for support and healing as I move forward with my grief.

  2. Meditate. Most of think we can’t meditate, especially in the beginning when our minds are numb, but even when our minds stray we are meditating. But to be honest, I like following a guided meditation. It gives my mind something to do: listen. Search guided meditation out on your phone and use your earbuds to listen. If this is new to you, try listening to Jason Stephenson or Michael Sealey. They have numerous recorded meditations that cover topics including sleep and anxiety which you may find helpful.

  3. Visit a respected medium. This may or may not resonate with you and that’s ok. I have such a strong belief in the spirit world and I love hearing the validation of past experiences plus updates from Katie in her new role. Occasionally I also get to hear what Katie would like me to do on my path too, like write a book! If seeing a psychic/medium is something you want to do, ask around and do your research. There are great ones and some not-so-great ones out there.

  4. Reiki. This is one of the first things that I did to help me figure out where my energy was blocked and how I could work through those blockages. For me, fear was blocking my healing. I was SO SCARED that I would lose my son too. In fact, I was so scared that it was unhealthy. The awareness helped me put that fear into perspective, then I prayed to God to help me with my fears and to take some of that burden off of my shoulders.

  5. Love yourself and everyone. Try to lead with love and make every decision with love. Understand that people may say hurtful things, but they speak with the best intentions. Just love them. You may feel like God has abandoned you. Just love Him. This approach will eventually help you find gratitude too, which is a form of love.

Which one of these actions can you implement today?

I'd love to hear how you take care of your spiritual health or about any visits you've experienced. Jump over to the private Facebook group to share:

If you are not a member of this group yet, please request to join.

Sending love and light



PS: I have created a meditation just for grieving mothers. Click here to request the free download

Recent Posts

See All